I’m Freaking Out! – When everyone says, “You’ve got this”, and you’re thinking, “No, I don’t!”

Tonight I’m supposed to be writing and posting about the epic things that have been going on for Tribe of Women. Instead, I’m freaking out! But in a good way. Mostly. We had such an amazing Anniversary month of April where things really started taking shape, we connected and reconnected with people and organizations vital to our future, and we have such cool things coming on the horizon! And they keep.coming. Last week, we got a call to help with the Bentonville Film Festival, started by Geena Davis and her See Jane initiative “championing women and diverse voices in film”. What an honor! We have an opportunity to interview women filmmakers and ask them about their career and how their tribe of women plays a role in their lives. What!?

To say the least, we jumped at the chance. I called Laurie Marshall, our Content Designer and Story Collector, and the team at Modthink and we got to work getting organized. Last year, the film festival was in its first year. My friend, Virginia, and I went to see The Empowerment Project, and were blown away by its impact on us. It was a defining moment for both of us and, admittedly, I reeeeaaalllyyy wanted to meet Geena Davis last year. I got as close as watching her walk by the crowd and down a glass walk-way. I said a little “someday, I want to meet her” in my head and went about my life. Now.I’m.going.to.meet.her! Not only that, Tribe of Women has a beautiful opportunity to fulfill our dreams of gathering stories of women and get the word out about building cultures of women supporting women. Tribes. I’m freaking out!

And… breath. I’ve got this. Or so people keep saying. Tonight I got a “how are you” text from our magic “brand guy”, Bryan. My reply, “If good, ugh, and eeek! can live in the same emotion, that’s how I am.” And then…

Late nigh well wishes. You got this.
Late nigh well wishes. You got this.

Minutes (literally) later… I was sending this text in reply to my darling girlfriend, Holly.

No, YOU'VE got this.
No, YOU’VE got this.

Irony? Irrationality? Insanity? But she DOES have this. And so do I. And so do YOU. We all do. Or not. But we’re here. Living and jumping (or crazily leaping and flailing) out of our comfort zones and into the unknown. We may soar or we may fall flat on our faces, but we’re here and trying and, like I told my sweet Holly, and numerous others are telling me, until then… I’m here. We’re here. Together.

So, the “official” Tribe of Women anniversary post will have to wait. And, I’m sorry to all of the filmmakers out there that are likely not reading this post anyway but would be made nervous if they did… I have no idea what I’m doing. If it is any consolation, as my husband drifted off to sleep while I was rambling on, he said, “Do you ever? Really? Aren’t we all just figuring it out as we go?” Yes. Yes we are. Good night.

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” ~ Helen Keller

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